No one knows what the body can do. -Spinoza

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Roof-top Bar Personality Test: Installment 1

Here are the Results of Your Personality Test!

Terrasse 701, Hotel Place d' Armes, Montreal

"It was a cool adventure finding the place." --Luis
Hotel Place d'Armes, iHotelier

The Question:

Imagine It: You're stuck on a rooftop bar for the rest of your life with two friends, and one type of drink. Where's the bar, who are the friends, and what is the drink you choose?

The Bar You Selected:
You like reliable, comfortable, simple-chic. You expect the wait staff to know just what they're doing, and how to communicate with you, while also presenting themselves as comfortable in their interactions with you. Your taste in music is easy to listen to, but never easy listening. You prefer 40's vocal jazz. However, you demand the further constraint that every song played follow the theme "don't break my heart." You're not high-maintenance, you just know exactly what makes you comfortable, and such comfort is readily possible. Terrasse 701 fulfills your needs. You want a full panoramic view of the city stretching across the old port itself in the south, through the historic and domed government buildings, all the way to the mountain in the north. You want high-middle end bottle service options, and a variety of flavored martinis to choose from for drinks. Most of all, you want the space to talk with your friends without feeling pressured to leave, pressured to order, or required to get along with the other people in the bar.

The drink you selected:
You like your drinks top shelf, at a reasonable price.

The friends you chose:
Enoch, and Luis are the ideal companions for the rest of your life rooftop bar adventure. The three of you get along with a calm, steady humor allowing for the kind of self-entertainment without tedium demanded of your newly restrictive circumstances. The three of you range from quite different centers of the world--Nova Scotia, Brazil, and Alaska--allowing for ever changing surprise in conversation, while your interests--rooftop bar adventures, open-hearted affection, and jokes made of the moment--offer commonality that sustains your appreciation for each other.

The Rooftop Bar Review:
The cosmopolitan

The grand marnier cosmopolitan is the only cosmo they offer, and they make it well--smooth, strong, and easy to drink.

The worst drink on the menu--the bubble gum martini
Dependent on a housemade bubble gum liquor, it's easy to imagine the bubble gum martini going very wrong with too much fake bubble gum flavor, and made way too sweet. But, this drink turns out to be less bad than expected, offering a distinctive bubble gum taste balanced with lemon juice. It's not sweet at all. (Still, Luis wouldn't recommend it, unless you love the taste of bubble gum. I'll note: he did finish it.)

The open palate--Chivas Regal with a side of soda
Served on the rocks, with a side of high-mineral content sparkling water, Chivas is the only scotch they serve out of bottle.

  • 9 flags
  • Drunkenness Danger Factor:
    High Drunk Danger Factor for Accessibility; Perfectly Safe Drunk Danger Factor for Bathrooms
  • The Paper Grade--Enoch: B+
  • The Appropriate Guest--Luis: The Visiting Guest Speaker
  • The Narrative--Elaine: In Alaska a couple of years ago, I went to a bar housed in a log cabin in the middle of the woods. A local band was playing that won't make world class news, but is fun when you're confined to the options of Alaska. Towards the end of the second set I wandered over to the polished, and oiled log-pine bar for a paper cup of water. A man sitting at the bar stopped me. "You own a Harley?" he asked me. "I think of it more as a long term goal," I responded. He looked me hard in the face as I poured my cup of water. "I've got a garage full of Harleys." Then he paused. I looked at him for a moment. Almost done with my cup of water he started again. "All I can offer you are all my Harleys, and my love. All I need to know is that I can trust you with my life." Impressed by the directness of his offer I answered him, "People could trust me with their life, I think. But you won't celebrate that opportunity." I finished my water and walked away. Being visited mostly by business types traveling through the area for financial negotiations, Terrasse 701 would never host the offer of a Harley. But, it'd be damn fun if it did.

How To Get There:
At the top of the Hotel Place d'Armes, located at 701 Cote de la Place d'Armes at the corner with Rue St Jacques Ouest, you'll find Terrasse 701. Hotel Place d'Armes is a boutique style hotel set at the crest of the hill that descends to the shore of Old Port Montreal. To find the rooftop bar, enter the 701 Bar found on the ground level of the hotel. At the back of the bar you'll find an elevator. Take it to the 8th floor, then walk up two flights of outside, open grate stairs to the roof of the building, and go around the corner. There you'll discover Terrasse 701. Once you're on top you'll be rewarded with a reliable, and interesting drink menu, the possibility of food until 9:30 p.m., and friendly service. The bathrooms are wonderfully accessible and boast a full length mirror you can't help but walk by, so no one will think you're vain when you HAVE TO look at it. There are two private room style stalls for women, and one for men. The bathrooms are clean, and well-tended. The service staff is multi-lingual, and friendly, without being pushy. Set on the crest of the hill, you'll enjoy a wonderful panoramic view of the area, but also a wind, so bring yourself something to wrap up in when need be.

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