No one knows what the body can do. -Spinoza

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Rooftop Bar Personality Test: Installment 3

Here are the results of your personality test!

Narcisse, 97, de la Commune Est
"wasted potential." --Mae

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The Question:
Imagine It: You're stuck on a rooftop bar for the rest of your life with two friends, and one type of drink. Where's the bar, who are the friends, and what is the drink you choose?

The Bar You Selected:
You dream of a life of spontaneous joy in which you fall in love with a handsome stranger when you least expect it, and spend the rest of your life happily in love, but you reliably choose just the wrong place. That is, you live your life going to the places where your dreams could almost come true, but that don’t quite have enough of the verve and enthusiasm necessary to make your imaginary life a reality. It isn’t necessary that you sabotage your goals, but you’re not quite ready to accept responsibility for them. It’s important for you to realize that you’ve brought together all of the appropriate ingredients, you just need to learn how to mix them. To do that, it’s okay to ask others for help in developing the right recipe. When you accept that asking for help and advice is actually good for you, you’ll be well on your way to living the life you dream about.

The Drink You Selected:
Though the drinks you select promise to be good, and all the ingredients are there, the taste falls short, and the price is a touch too high.

The Rooftop Bar Review:
The Cosmopolitan
They only make the cosmo with grand marnier, but the taste doesn’t measure up to the promise, and the price is a couple dollars higher than other locales. Also, there was sugar on the cosmo rim, a subtle misunderstanding of the point of drinking a cosmo. It’s not that a lady wants a sweet drink, it’s that she wants a vibrant one.

The Worst Drink on the Menu--Gin Martini
When a place doesn’t have a bad drink menu, you’ve gotta order what comes to mind when the waiter appears. Luis ordered the gin martini for this reason, but was given a gin & tonic.

The Open Palate--Scotch & Soda
This bar doesn’t serve Chivas, and doesn’t tell you what kind of scotch you’re getting either. The soda on the side turned out to be tonic.

The Guest Reviewer: Mae--Beer on Tap
Turns out there’s only one beer on tap. So Mae ordered a Kronenberg blond.

  • No flags.
  • Drunkenness danger factor--moderate drunken danger on accessibility since the approach is entirely inside, but at the top of a steep set of stairs; high drunk danger factor on the bathroom since it's at the top of steep stairs, and stinks (thus exposing you unnecessarily to higher potential hurl level).
  • The Paper Grade: B-
  • The Appropriate Guest: Luis's Father, with all his faults
  • The Narrative: Patrick Swayze walks up at the end of Dirty Dancing and announces, “No one puts baby in the corner.” Then grabs Francis and spins her into a dramatic climactic dance scene that causes everyone to defrock from their conservative, closed-minded ways and join in the salsa rhythm. Now, imagine Patrick Swayze, in his younger dancing days walks up to your table, the music is playing, and there’s plenty of room for dancing. In other words, all the ingredients for a superb dance fiesta are there, and you're expecting to sore on the imagined wings of Swayze's strong upright arms as he holds you aloft above his head. Now, imagine, Swayze announces, “No body puts baby in the corner” but your family doesn’t actually let you get up to dance.
  • The Guest Review: The Analogous Movie Type: The cheesy romantic comedy; would be the perfect place if you could return for breakfast.
How to Get There:
To get to the bar, enter on the water side of rue de la Commune, just passed rue St-Gabriel, directly across from the port. Take the elevator up to the sixth floor, then turn right, and right again in the halls till you find a door that says "Narcisse Terasse." After wandering the halls in such a manner, the door will lead you to a full and steep flight of stairs to the roof. Definitely use the bathroom before you get drunk, since it’s at the top of the stairs in a place that makes falling a drunken possibility, not to mention the smell could make your drunken tummy wretch. The view is low since it’s on the downhill side of the Old Port, but situated across from the water you get a privileged view of Habitat 67, the Casino, and the tug boats. The tables are close together in a way that means you feel as though you're there with people you don't know. In this way it's set up more like a restaurant than a bar, and in fact a full menu is trucked up the stairs from Narcisse Restaurant on the first floor. The location is popular enough with tourists you’re likely to wait a bit too long for service. There is no music, and the waiters seem to pride themselves on their fine-tuned ability to be brusque but not rude.

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