A Confession: I Have a Problem With Black Leather. The Problem is Something I Affectionately Call "Boots."

So, I have two problems, two real, serious problems. The first is that my problem with black leather doesn't end at boots. I've not even posted here about the black leather pants I own, and I use the plural form of "pant" there not just to indicate two-legged trousers, rather than heavy breathing (though black leather does sometimes lead to that use of the word "pant" too, doesn't it?), but really honestly to indicate multiple pairs of pants. Oh, sigh. And then this is me only mentioning the black leather items I own for the bottom portion of my body. I haven't included the jacket, or the opera length gloves. You see? You see what I'm confessing here? Here's the second problem. These pictures are horrible. But, still, you'll get the idea.

Vanessa Bruno High Heel, Ankle Boot

Atalanta Weller for House of Holland Cut-Out, Wedge Boot

Balenciaga Riding Boot

Ann Demeulemeester Lace-Up Boot

Stuart Weitzman Over The Knee, 50-50 Boot

Maison Martin Margiela Open Toe, Thigh High, Covered Heel Boot

It's become clear to me that I have to devise a black leather boot dressing game. A kind of, "Okay, look! You're in this or that situation. You have to rescue these people, and then these people. Quick! Which boot do you wear?!" Cause, honestly, depending on who you were rescuing, and what you were rescuing them from, the kind of boot you were wearing would change. I mean, duh.

Also, these pictures make it clear that the above photos should be printed out and turned into the Black Leather Boot Card Game. You know, where you compete by creating complete outfits based around which Black Leather Boot you draw from the handmade deck of Black Leather Boot Trading Cards. The other cards being things like skirts, jeans, wrap dresses, and short shorts that have to be skillfully matched with the boots. It should be clear by now, the game is all about the Black Leather Boots. Again, I mean, duh.